As far as porno's not many bro. I am mainly looking for freaky 70's shit their hard to find they made some sick demented violent shit. Used to be in contact with a few oldschool pornstars from the 80’s they were cool people very down to earth too. Some of my favorites are people like Asia Carrera, Misty Rain, Jenna Jameson..

You know man Id probably include yer ma in that list.
Is your momma hot?.
haha im talking about your ma

Your really nasty did anybody tell you that haha.

Haha all the time bro

Hows everything in Fondle Corpse? Have you any drummer at the moment because I know up to not so long as you were having a rough time trying to find a drummer.

Yeah it's a pain in the ass to find a decent drummer into our style of music. I am still trying to dredge up a session drummer so we can do a few select gigs. But we have now Colon Bowel from Lord Gore helping out on drums for the recordings so you know the drumming will be solid and brootal, this man can drum like a monster we are lucky to have him help us out.

Recently I see that Poser Crusher Records have decided to release a collection of all your stuff, maybe you could fill us in as to what stuff will be on this cd and how the deal came about?

There really weren't any plans to re-release the 7” ep’s but since people kept mailing about wanting the material on cd or if i could send a cdr i decided i didn't want to make our stuff impossible to get or listen to for people without a record player, that we decided to put it on a cd. It will also be a nice way for people to pick up all the stuff we did sofar in one go. The cd will contain the material from both ep's we did and a song from a compilation so thats a total of 10 songs and we threw some rehearsals on there too. But they are just there for fun their not really an added value hahaha trust me haha. Posercrusher liked our shit and our no bullshit mentality so a deal was inked and the cd will be out soon we hope and the first batch will hopefully be send out including a big poster done by Dennis Dread!!! I hope everybody likes what we have done with this cd. We tried to make it sick and special.

Unfortunately the only fondlecorpse release I have is the limbless 7”, and I really enjoyed it, really old school death metal, did using a drum machine bother you? Did you feel it affected the over all quality of the release?

Well it was never intended to be a band with a drumcomputer but if no drummer dares to play with us there is not much else you can do. I can’t deny that a real drummer sounds a lot more natural but we tried to program our drums so it sounds like a real drummer. We did our best not to have it affect our sound you know? But for the new releases we will have colon bowel from lord gore demolish a drumkit so finally we will release shit as it was intended as a full band!!!!!!

Killer bro. Ha,ha the band pictures on the back of limbless had me in stitches, where did that come out of?

They rule don't they hahaha, those are the evil gremlins in gizmo form. This is before they transform into gremlins and still look like mogwais. I have a big library with oldschool shit, and magzines about toys, movies etc etc. These i took from a kidsbook about gremlins featuring the whole movie in pictures it has a ton of cool pictures of the gremlins. I bought that fucker when i was on vacation in Florida when i was like 16 hahaha. They just were too good not to use.

Speaking of 7”‘s mines 24” how about you?

It's not the lenght it's the girth that counts;) , quality above quantity my man hahahahaha.

Carefull or youll get a poke in the eye

I have mastered the art of Kung-Fu i will evade your attack with easy, i played a lot of shinobi on the sega and watched a lot of episodes of the turtles

So, What's up with this whole “couch potato” thing?

It is what we are. Work your ass off go home sit on the couch and dig into the dvd collection get the soda pop the popcorn and relax. We are the simple freaks enjoying simple things. We chose this as our colours our banner. We ARE proud couchpotato's

The cover art was so fucking good for limbless, what’s your view on a lot of the computer generated sterile artwork of today?

I am a big fan of handdrawn artwork, to me that has always been a great part of the underground scene, i mean i used to buy demo's and cd's based on cool drawn artwork, i love it. Most of the computergenerated stuff looks like shit.......... lets be honest. And the sterility of it doesnt help. It's not all bad but some covers these days are so UGLY. Computer generated stuff......... somethimes people need to be stopped and their photoshop or 3D programs be taken away from them hahahaha.

Yeah, we should probably sort those cunts out haha

Stuff their pc mouse up their ass, or better yet why not jam their whole computer in there

How's the split with Engorged coming along? You told me before that all the songs are based on 80's cartoons, what's the idea behind that? I think it would be way better if you did it about 80's porno's ha,ha.

We almost finished all the material for that split we have 5 songs done so probably will add one or two tunes and hit the studio. Basically everybody in Fondlecorpse and Engorged are huge 80’s Thrashculture junkies so it was a natural process to do a split based on the shit we love. We are always talking about GIJOE, Transformers, shouting lines and quotes from old cartoons and shit so we just think it was cool to do this, its something different and so far a lot of fun to do. Its going to be one freaky release thats for sure!!! And well 80's porno's hahaha you know we are planning a release based solely on 70/80's exploitation movies so you will get your fix too in the future hahaha.

How's the new material sounding in comparison to the old stuff?

The new stuff is more of the same hahaha but we try to make it more insane and add more weird riffs. This will be the first time we will record with Fondlecorpse and a real drummer so i hope that this will improve our total sound a lot. But only time will tell. We definately try to always make our new shit more insane than our last stuff.

Do you really feel part of the old ethos? Your music really has a real old school feel to it which I really dig, as well the vocals are kept in the old vein with a touch of new modern brutality. What's draws you to the older side of things?

Well i feel part of the old ethos because i am part of it, i remember the snailmail days, flyers, lots of print catalogues paper zines etc etc. Like i said it is oldschool because ive been playing it so long they changed “deathmetal” into “oldschool deathmetal” hahaha. The vocals are oldschool because thats how i learned them myself years ago and the modern brutality well vocals are like an instrument they keep evolving so i keep trying to find new ways to twist the vocal chords and get more different brutal sounds from my throat. I guess it's a natural process if you take your vocals seriously. I think its a buzz to find ways to get brutal sounds from my throat without using effects. It's just how i work no real reason why.

Yeah thats always something I feel really drawn to about the underground, just the way it was so hard, mp3 downloading, no emails etc, do you think the scene was better back then?

i think because it was harder to get hold the stuff in the underground in the old days, people were more serious about the music, you had to write letters to bands to get their shit and trade more, and more support going on, the new things aren't bad like e-mail and the internet but it has given rise to a more junkfood kinda way people deal with music, dowload a track listen and throw it away its become more uncaring at times i think.

Onto influences, what kind of bands do you listen to these days? Do your tastes reflect your music? I heard you're a big fan of George Michael, is there any substance to these claims bro?

Usually i just listen to oldschool deathmetal or thrashdeath, goremetal, old streetpunk, oldschool hardcore (80's). I listen to a lot of oldschool shit so yeah my tastes are the same as the music i play. My heart lies with the deathmetal always has always will. And well you gave me his albums after your run in with him at that Beverly Hills urinal. I told you i was more a fan of wham!! LAST CHRISTMASS LALALALALAAAAA.

Ha,ha yeah what a song, he had nice hair though, what do you think? You know any David Hassle Hoff songs? He fucking rules, especially when he wears his sweats.

Hassel the Hoff he just released another album in germany he is the man there you know. He is Michael Knight nobody fucks with the Hoff you dig hahaha.

Did you see him on the berlin wall in his sweats? coolest thing ever

No not yet send me a cdr with the clip man it must be quite a sight.

Better yet ill take a picture of me, iv modelled my whole style on him, i wonder did he do any pornos?

Really?? you must be a babemagnet we all know Hasselhoff banged everybody on baywatch, we should all worship at his feet!!! And he has kitt too man that dude is cool!

Big time

And so the question that applies to every band and to me the most important, where to next with FondleCorpse both musically and conceptually, are you happy to stay rooted in the old school or is there any particular “place” you want to reach or any specific goals?

Hmmm well ive always played oldschool deathmetal (even when it was just called deathmetal hahaha) so i doubt it will change i mean i haven't changed my style in over 11+ years now ive been in bands. I guess i am a dinosaur my style is now called oldschool so that fits with me being an old fart hahaha. I like this style and i don't see myself changing......... hell even as a person i don't change much. For me it's about having fun there is no real goals to be achieved maybe meet more fellow freaks into this shit and just keep on releasing shit and playing music. I have no illusions to ever hit it big, we play a distinct style for a select group of people as long as they enjoy it i am happy. Musically we will ofcourse grow but more in playing a tight set and maybe getting better at our style but don't expect big changes. This is what i like to play this is where ill stay. Conceptually, well it will always be the same all about b-movies, horror, 80's nostalgia and true crime my obsessions will also be in the music. This shit is what i know things about so thats what i write about.

How do you get on with the rest of the bands in Holland, you have some really fucking killer bands there Last Days of Humanity, Rompeprop, Inhume and tonnes more, do you keep in contact or have an interest in these bands or the dutch scene in general, as in do you try to take an active part in the scene etc.

Yeah ive got a decent amount of contact with some dutch bands. And i do several things to help out. One of them being helping with the Dutch paperzine Trendkill Magazine helping with doing the lay-out and somethimes interviews, and i do some other shit like drawing stuff for people making logos and shit. I do what i can and help out anybody who is down to earth and cool, nothing wrong with supporting your bro's.

Any plans to tour soon?

I wish, touring is expensive business and especially for a smalltime band like us, we would however like to try and do some festivals in the future. But for now we have trouble enough just surviving hahaha. We would like to but it will take a while to save up the money to pay for it and plan shit with work and one of the guys his school. Who knows what the future will bring it would be cool.

Right Sylvestre, thanxxx a million for your time and for keeping it true, it's a shame we don't have more cool guys like you in the scene, anything to conclude with to all the gore fiends out there ?

Well thanx for the interview you sick fucker, it's much appreciated. As for everybody into cheesy gory B-movies, get your ass down to our website at http://www.fondlecorpse.nl and hang out with us freaks. Join the couchpotato legion!!!!!!!!