Interview for Facefuck webzine 1. We used to hang out when you still did the band Moronic and some other shit somewhere around 93/95 and ive seen the sick seed of Fondlecorpse been sown, why the fuck did it take you half a fucking century to get it together you ninkenpoop!!!! Hahahah well you DIPSHIT thats because over the years ive had some different line-ups but nothing stuck, everything fell thru, almost recorded the Limbless 7” in 1999/2000 but same old story it fell thru due to line-up changes. But no fear some lyrics and ideas were salvaged and the EP will see the light soon 6 songs are recorded so only need to release it. The line-up now is pretty good and totally dedicated, Bas the master guitarist for insane oldschool riffing, Mathijs the Bassist who puts the creepy heavy shit in the tunes, Krite the demented extraterestial drummer and well smelly little ol me on Vocals because i suck at playing instruments hahaha. The couchpotatoes have risen from their couch of doom and are ready to attack!!!!! 2. Now ive heard your new shit and demo cdr of the Limbless 7” and your vocals haven’t really changed a fucking bit in all these years and the style you play is still early 90’s death/gore/metal, you unoriginal piece a crap whats that all about? You play music that now is called oldschool deathmetal because your an old fart!!!!! you never liked changes did you hahaha! !! Too true man, i hate changes, always have. Guess its one of my flaws i like being a dinosaur or as people call me “Grandpa”. And well i started playing this style back then and ive never been bored with it and its the style i like to play. No need to change something which doesn’t need changing, even when at the time at concerts 10 people would show up for deathmetal fests and it seemed to be totally dead i would be there!!! banging my head. It’s not a trend but a lifestyle!!!! 3. I know you got two passions 80’s cartoons and toys and shit and Horror movies, i remember i checked out your room once and it was a fucking toy warehouse, so you must be happy with this revival of all that 80’s shit right? Well yes and no, yes because there are some new things coming out like transformer comics and shit which are pretty cool, but also no because i see my beloved memories being milked for every cent it’s worth and see stupid people wearing shirts and stuff with 80’s icons on it and they dont even know what the fuck it is, that pisses me off. Commercialism in any way is always bad because it means people who only think about $$$ are in control and those in control usually have no respect for what their selling and have no idea what it is because they only care about $$$. 4. I heard you signed to Razorback Records and well i am not too surprised about that, so whats it like and why did you sign with them? Well thats kinda obvious for our kind of music there really is only one label left where us mental cases would fit in nicely, ive been talking to Billy for a long time and Jill too and their people who have a heart for this style of music and it’s nice to have a label that works out of dedication instead of $$$. So we are honoured to be part of the family. We just hope we can deliver a release that does the label justice. Also ive been a fan of pretty much every damn cd they released so the Hive is a good place to dwell we thinks. And we didn’t really “sign” to a label, we just joined a demented family of fellow freaks hahaha. check out the Hive at http://www.razorbackrecords.com 5. Now you make some songs about some mentaly deranged kid stuff which not many bands would dare to write about, i see some shit coming up about 80’s cartoons and shit and toylines like the Boglin tune, aren’t you afraid it won’t be brutal like say songs about medical stuff or the standard killing tunes and tunes about war and shit? Hahaha i know what you mean and fuck that shit, i can make a song about he-man or transformers and make it just as fucking sick as a song about ripping someones entrails out of his ass. People somethimes expect because of the subject matter for some songs that it will be weak ass shit, fuck that there will still be tons of blood being shed and entrails to be ripped. I don’t necesarily need to be the sickest band, hell how am i going to top the insane lyrics from a band like Autopsy, or medical lyrics like Carcass, or do a better job at making songs about war like Boltthrower i would than just be trying to get close to the masters, i rather try something else and do it MY way but still make sure it’s heavy as fuck music. We don’t take ourselves very seriously and the topics will be totally deranged fucked up over the top kinda things but the music itself i DO take seriously 100% so don’t expect some cheesy “haha” i am a joke tunes. But pure and simple oldschool in your facegoremetal with excentric lyrics. And if you think the topics aren’t “brutal or sick enough” go suck a goat’s ass and shout SATAN on some farm and don’t bother me, i don’t need to show thru my music how “brutal” or nasty i am. I already earned my place in hell in real life hahahaha. 6. I used to love the song you did with Moronic at the time called “Kill the bitch you love”, any nice odes to ex-girlfriends this time round?? Ofcourse!!! no band of mine is complete without a death to stupid bitches and ex girlfriend songs hahaha this time round i spew my guts in the song Limbless about women who tried to change me and their bullshit like oh those action figures have to go. WRONG YOU HAVE TO GO *grabs a hatchet* SPLAT DIE BITCH DIE!!!!, hahaha and how i want to de-limb them with a chainsaw and shit like that!!!!! My latest GF is hanging from a meathook in the cellar, so new hot chicks can apply at the following addres hahahahaha 7. I also hear you do some shit with the Tales of Uranus zine whats that about? I have been a big fan of everything Jake did from the start when i got in touch with him to trade for the first issue of TFU, i jumped aboard the TFU train at issue 5 to help Jake out with some interviews and now we are already busy with issue 7 and i still do some interviews for the zine and some reviews the fuckers keeps getting sicker and bigger hahaha. But in the end all the credit needs to go to Jake, he is the man behind the sickness and the sickly comics he churns out each time. I am just a little worker drone who helps out with some shit. JAKE = TALES FROM URANUS support his shit or die, watch out for new comic insanity whihc he will unleash soon!!!!! 8. So i was wondering whats up with the Gore collection, i know you had more flicks than the goddamn video store whats up with that now that theres DVD, still stick to VHS or going along with the DVD craze. Fuck yeah man i am totally converted to DVD, it rules above VHS. I recently checked my collection and parts of it are all fucked up, total movies are GONE just from standing around erased thru time and that pissed me off, and with DVD i don’t have to worry about them being erased or them going all snowed up and shit, or pay fuckloads of money for a millionth version copy of some cult movie. No more 50 bucks for a cult movie on some piece a shit VHS tape, worship the DVD hahaha. Chip your DVD player and kill the regioncode and a whole new world of gore gets unleashed, i am surprised at the huge amounts of hard to get gore of the old days which you can now relatively easy get on DVD. I think what horror is concerned and cult movies the DVD has jumpstarted the whole thing again. Lately ive been picking up a batch of cultflicks which used to be impossible to get or only thru trading badly copied VHS copies. 9. So how is the first release doing sofar? Any special promotions you did? Hahaha the first release is doing pretty good, pretty much 250 out there within a month, no real promotions yet, most of it went thru word of mouth no mass mails no spamming of people, i just threw the release out there and it seems to be doing pretty good. Surprised it went as well as it did to be honest. I also dont really send out tons of promo’s. I am more using the way of the virus hehehe get some people to like our shit and they tell some other people who will in turn maybe dig our shit too and it spreads like a slow virus. Like a slow moving zombie sooner or later your toast hahahah and join the swelling undead ranks. 10. Whats coming up from you sick fuckheads? Well we hope to throw the limbless 7 inch in production soon and than we are working fulltime on the split cd with our brothers of Engorged which will rule supreme been a big fan of them for years so it’s an honour to do something with these sick fuckers, gonna be total 80’s trashculture worship since both bands are totally into all that shit check out their cd’s and you’ll see what i mean or drop by their website http://www.engorged.net/, and than on to the Creaturegore CD on Razorbackrecords which will be totally dedicated to the small creatures who litter the b-movies, shit like gremlins, ghoulies, critters etc etc going to put these small fuckers on the horror map!!!!! no longer will they be ignored by the masses hehehe and than we will do a split with the insane slashers of Frightmare which well should be a total 80’s slashfeast!!!! got some other stuff brewing but this is the list sofar!!!! 11. Now you guys also use a “inhuman drummer” namely Krite the alien extraterrestial, famous for the mighty farmtown massacre in the 80’s, why no human drummer? Well satan knows i tried to get the shit together backed up by a human drummer but no longer will i go thru the torment of making songs getting ready to record and the drummer being a bitch and fucking it up leaving the band without a drummer again, their always lazy, tired, broke, egoistic, plain gay, interested in playing pussy metal, and lacking in dedication for the band NO MORE fuck em, Krite hasn’t let us down and in the short period we now have been a tight unit as band we have released more than in the whole long career of Fondlecorpse when we tried to play with real drummers, i wanna make music without the headaches! enough is enough! and if people think we should get a real drummer fuck off we tried it aint my fault their all wankers and pussies. Piss off. KRITE” ghar gragra grikko grrrrr” as Krite just mentioned human drummers are only good for food and a nice juicy stew. We might pick up a session drummer for gigs but nothing is sure yet, he would have to be 100% dedicated to the music and play some mean drums!!!! 12. Well thats all for this interview as always the last words are yours!!!! Thanx for the interview man, greatly appreciated bro, ill see you in the pit or at a goreathon at my house you demented fuck. Well thanx goes to everybody who supports the couchpotatoe b-movie gore cause and everybody who we are in contact with, keep the old ways alive. Well visit us at http://www.fondlecorpse.nl and check out our first demented split 7” with sick deathtrashers Inkblack http://www.inkblack.nl and watch out for our next release coming atcha at lightning speed LIMBLESS!!!!!!!